‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Sublette County;
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lone Dispatcher or Deputy!
No calls this evening, you see;
Everyone is as healthy and content as can be!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of happiness danced in their heads;
Safe and sound.
No arguing parents; With mamma being thrown around.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter;
Not tossed bottles and beer cans, and it really does matter;
Hopefully not them littering the ditch!
Was it again Jim Bob and JoJo Rich?

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow;
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
Praise be! Not a DUI in the works!
It was Jim Bob and JoJo despite their quirks;
In a 4-wheel drive pickup truck, cleaning up trash;
Throwing it in the truck bed with a crash.

What else did I see, so lively and in a buck?
But a roque baldie heifer running amuck!
More rapid than eagles, the ranch hands they came,
And before you would know it, Baldie was back in the pasture without going lame.
While some in agriculture share a beer with their kids, getting them started about the age of 10,
Not these guys! They celebrate with high fives and a grin.

Now, Punchers! Now, Wranglers! All in preschool;
And Homeschoolers too!
It sure would be swell.
If kids were challenged and shaped by adults who care, with freedom to “be” and not just excel.
Our rates of 1 in 6 feeling so depressed most days;
Changed to most finding joy and belonging in the simplest of ways.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly;
When they meet with an obstacle, Mount to the sky;
So those who live in Sublette do,
Healthy coping for everyone, not just a few.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard the prancing and pawing of each little hoof,
I looked around for proof;
Since tis the season for hunting antelope, elk and deer;
All Sublette hunters acting responsibly while bearing arms; not partaking of substances, including too much
beer.

Sober living without alcohol can be had joyfully;
But if you so choose…
Moderation for men and women means 2 and 1 drinks or less per day respectfully;
Zero if pregnant or under age 21 so as not to lose.

Now when Santa does appear, dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot.
His clothes all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Looking like a peddler, just opening his sack.
Let’s hope he will be welcomed here in the outback.

His eyes how they twinkle! His dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
We hope from the cold, wintery weather and not from his over imbibing of sherry!
Like the almost 20% in Sublette,
Who binge drink regularly with or without taking a bet.
Over indulging not only,
leads to health and relationship problems but lower work productivity.

And the stump of a pipe Santa held tight in his teeth,
The smoke encircling his head like a wreath;
Oh Santa, with your little round belly,
I know it is your choice, but don’t you know this is just not healthy!
Supporting Addiction for Profit companies,
Just doesn’t seem to align with your sympathies.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head;
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work;
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
“I’ll give up the pipe”, he said, “and begin a prevention plan at the North Pole;
Good health not just in parts but considering people and elves as a whole.”

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave whistles.
“We have to do something about these thistles”,
I could hear them saying, Jim Bob and JoJo,
Without their customary row,
Still in a positive, festive mode,
Back beside the road.
But I heard Santa exclaim, ere he drove out of sight;
“A sober, happy, healthy, safe, loving Christmas to all; And to all a good night!”